Laugh out Loud

Pussy versus Printer

2008-10-19T04:24:00.000-07:00

If Microsoft made cars...

2007-12-11T19:35:00.000-08:00

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........ twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate - their computer!

Will Ferrell as Bush

2007-12-07T09:09:00.001-08:00

How to Keep Your Produce Fresh

2007-11-28T08:41:00.000-08:00

How to Recharge Batteries

2007-11-25T03:56:00.000-08:00

George Bush is funny

2007-11-19T10:10:00.001-08:00

Best VW commercial yet

2007-11-18T00:40:00.000-08:00

How to Visit New York City on $100

2007-11-13T18:42:00.000-08:00

How Secure are our Landmarks from Terrorists ?

2007-11-04T10:46:00.000-08:00

One RingyDingy

2007-10-25T23:09:00.000-07:00

Here is a comic video showing how "bad" most of the big telephone companies around the world really are.

Why did 3000 chickens cross the road ?

2007-10-16T09:39:00.000-07:00

Click here to see the answer.

Harlan McCraney Presidential Specialist

2007-10-05T12:25:00.005-07:00

Will Ferrell playing George Bush

2007-10-05T12:25:00.003-07:00

Ikea - What if?

2007-10-05T12:25:00.001-07:00

VW Lame Ride Commerical

2007-10-03T12:20:00.001-07:00

VW GTI MK V ad: Catapult

2007-10-03T09:47:00.001-07:00

Volkswagen: Un-pimp Your Ride II

2007-10-03T09:45:00.001-07:00

Introducing the book (repost)

2007-10-03T09:15:00.001-07:00

Funny website

2007-09-24T06:34:00.000-07:00

http://chroniclesofgeorge.nanc.com/